By Kiran Thomas, CAFE Volunteer

Fathers were attempting to program their children, but they were less likely to be successful because the children were generally more closely bonded with their mothers. Mothers are more likely to be the primary caretakers and so children are more likely to side with them in child-custody disputes.

A shift takes place in the child’s mind. This is the heartbreak of PAS: children are forced to choose between their parents because, in their mind, they’ve already lost one parent (to the divorce), and they’re terrified of losing the other.”

In the recent times there is a gender shift to 50/50 ratio on parental alienation and this could be relates to the fact that fathers are increasingly enjoying expanded visitation time with their children, providing fathers thereby with deeper bonding and more time to program them. Parental alienation used to be known as “malicious mother syndrome.” But it’s become a more equal-opportunity form of emotional abuse of children over the last two decades, according to a new study of some 74 Canadian cases, which was released at the conference Prof. Bala concluded that the term “parental alienation” and the debate itself  have been hijacked by two hopelessly polarized groups, fathers’ rights activists and feminists, who each produce a simplistic narrative.

“Men’s rights activists are claiming that it is becoming increasingly common for mothers to alienate children from their fathers as a way of seeking revenge for separation, and assert that courts are gender-biased against fathers in dealing with alienation,” he said. “Many feminists dismiss alienation as a claim fabricated by abusive fathers to maintain contact with children who are terrified of them, and control over the lives of their abused former partners.”

But reality is that in the war between parents the child suffers. Not only the child, but other close relatives who has an impact on a child’s life- grandparents, uncles and aunts suffer the consequences of this selfish war.

Parents who try to alienate their child from his or her other parent convey a three-part message to the child: (1) I am the only parent who loves you and you need me to feel good about yourself, (2) the other parent is dangerous and unavailable, and (3) pursuing a relationship with that parent jeopardizes your relationship with me.

Sources:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children

http://www.canadiancrc.com/Parental_Alienation_Syndrome_Canada/Parental_Alienation.aspx\

http://www.breakthroughparenting.com/PAS.htm